Absalom, Absalom!

My topic today is Absalom, the son of King David. Absalom’s entire story is found in 2 Samuel chapters 13-18. I suggest that you read this first because everything is from these chapters.

The story of Absalom begins with the rape of his sister, Tamar (2 Samuel 13). Amnon, who is actually the half-brother of both Absalom and Tamar, lusted after the beautiful Tamar. Amnon became so obsessed with her that he made himself ill. One day Amnon dishonestly arranges for Tamar to come to his bedroom and he rapes her. Then he throws her out of his house in disgrace for his own sin. The Bible says that “Amnon hated her with intense hatred. In fact, he hated her more than he had loved her.” (2 Samuel 13:15)

When Absalom heard what happened, he took Tamar in to live with him. David was furious when he found out what happened, however, he did nothing about it. There are many theories about why David refused to do anything, but the fact of the matter is that he didn't do anything in the way of justice. (2 Samuel 13:20-22) For two years Absalom held a grudge against Amnon and plotted his assassination. Absalom then killed Amnon at a banquet he planned solely for the purpose of killing Amnon (2 Samuel 13:23-28).

Absalom fled to Geshur afterwards, where he found asylum with the king of Geshur. He stayed there for three years and David longed to see him, but he didn’t go see him. (2 Samuel 13:37-39) He mourned over Absalom ‘day and night.’ Thanks to Joab, David’s commander, Absalom was eventually allowed to return to Jerusalem, without being allowed to see David (2 Samuel 14:38).

Absalom became tired of waiting for King David to summon him, so he hatched a plot to gain an audience with the king. Absalom sent for Joab and he refused to see him; he sent for Joab a second time and again Joab refused. Joab’s fields were adjacent to Absalom’s fields, so Absalom had his servants ignite Joab’s fields. Joab approached Absalom once he found out that Absalom lit his fields on fire, he demanded to see the king and Joab then took him to David. When David saw Absalom he kissed him, which evidently meant that he was forgiven for Amnon’s murder. (2 Samuel 14:29-33)

Absalom entered into a conspiracy to usurp the throne. He set himself up at the city gates as a judge, people would bring complaints before him and he would promise to fix said problem once he was king, thus gaining him popular support. After doing this for four years he went to Hebron under the guise of fulfilling a vow, but, in actuality, he sent secret messengers throughout Israel proclaiming that Absalom was king of Hebron, which gained him more support. Fearing for his life, David fled Jerusalem and Absalom took the city. (2 Samuel 15:1-18) Absalom also controlled the royal harem that David left behind and slept with his concubines, which was an unforgivable act in those days.

David wept as he climbed the Mount of Olives (2 Samuel 15:30). Absalom then laid plans to immediately pursue and attack David’s forces, but the idea was abandoned owing to the advice of Hushai (2 Samuel 17). This delay allowed David to muster what troops he had at Mahanaim and mount a counterattack to retake the kingdom. At the advice of his men, David did not march with the army to retake Jerusalem. He commanded Joab, Abishai and Ittai to be gentle with Absalom. (2 Samuel 18:1-5)

The armies of David and Absalom clashed in the forest of Ephraim, there were twenty thousand casualties and David’s army was victorious. Absalom met David’s troops and fled on his mule, but his hair caught a branch of a tree he rode under. As he was dangling from the tree, Joab disobeyed David’s orders. The Bible says that Joab “took three javelins in his hand and plunged them into Absalom’s heart while Absalom was still alive in the oak tree. And ten of Joab’s armor-bearers surrounded Absalom, struck him and killed him.” (2 Samuel 18:1-17)

Upon hearing what happened David wept and said, of his unruly son, “O my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you—O Absalom, my son, my son!” (2 Samuel 18:33)

There you have the tragic story of Absalom. Those are the facts we have about Absalom, but there are several questions this account brings up:

Why didn’t David punish Amnon for the rape of Tamar? Why did Joab convince David to allow Absalom back into Jerusalem? Why did David kiss Absalom instead of punishing him for killing Amnon? Why didn’t David quell Absalom’s rebellion instead of fleeing Jerusalem? Why did David think God would allow Absalom to kill him? And last, but not least: why did David mourn over Absalom after all that he did?

None of these questions really have a clear answer. Now, you may be wondering what it is that we can learn from this account; it appears to be a clear cut story, what else can you say?

David, for whatever reason, had a soft spot for Absalom, even after he killed Amnon and overthrew Jerusalem. To me, it seems David’s biggest mistake in this saga was leaving God out of it. These passages don’t mention anything about David praying before making any of these decisions, they were knee-jerk reactions. Absalom was a blind spot for David, dealing with Absalom took him away from God.

David did not discipline either of his sons involved in this situation. He should have disciplined Amnon for his crime against Tamar. He had the right, no the obligation, to punish him legally for the crime and he wouldn’t do it. Then, if Absalom still killed Amnon, David should have punished him for that. As Proverbs 29:15 says, A rod and a reprimand impart wisdom, but a child left undisciplined disgraces its mother.”

We can also learn a lesson from Absalom himself. David made some mistakes in dealing with Absalom, but he was old enough to make his own decisions. A poor decision he made was not trusting in God’s will; instead, he chose to take matters into his own hands. What Amnon did to Tamar was indefensible, but that’s not justification for Absalom’s murder of him. Revenge is not for us to have. Romans 12:17-19 says, “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.”

In closing, let us all take the accounts of Absalom as a cautionary tale and avoid making the same mistakes as the ones made here. The take home lessons are: pray before making any important decision, discipline your children properly (if applicable), trust in God’s will, and don’t take the law into your own hands. These are lessons we can all use reminding of.